About Me

I am mostly recognized because of my now-famous twin brother; Tardy. (aka “Grumpy Cat“). I am also a distant relative of “ceiling cat“. But I have absolutely no relation to sniper cat, who picks people off with a rifle from a window. Although I did train him how to use a rifle, and taught him how to spot Republicans from a distance. I would like to be recognized for my personal accomplishments; such as bringing down the entire Arianna Huffington Empire!!! (scheduled for 2017). But no, people just keep confusing me for my lazy brother, Tardy. Who ironically, is a pretty laid back dude. I’m the real “grumpy cat”. When I was at the tender age of two, I had a baby blue t-shirt that said “You want trouble? You found it.”. But do I get sweet million dollar contracts from Purina? Hell no. I just get litter kicked in my face from Tardy. Now you know why I’m Grumpy.

Some people call me “Fred” because they think that’s what my name is. WRONG! I don’t recognize the name “Fred”. It’s just a dumb name I came up with after Ms. Fluffington made me sign up to Facebook just to get back into her now exclusive country club. That I used to be good enough to be a member of. I came up with the name “Fred Haversham” on the spot. Then for no reason that I could think of, had HP abbreviate the last name to an initial. Yeah, just in case anyone spots me by my fake name. Huh?? I wanted to get rid of it later, but realized I would have to open up a new account with HP, and that meant having to wipe out my friends&fans count and start from 0. I didn’t mind that so much, since I have already done that numerous times, whenever I thought of a great new moniker I wanted to try out. It’s just that the way things are going on HP these days, I wasn’t sure I could bring it back up to 100. And I so love having a micro-bio… Anyway, I assure you I do not know who “Fred Haversham” is, never heard of the name, and don’t even know if it actually exists as a name. So if you call me “Fred” and I don’t answer…. that would be why. Or I am just getting on with my grumpy self. You never know.

– Forrest “That’s GRUMP not GUMP, Stupey” Grump

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